Courageous Conversations

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What are Courageous Conversations?

A Courageous Conversation (Called Crucial Conversations in some literature*) is a discussion between two or more people where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong. When you are in the middle of a courageous conversation (or thinking about stepping up to one) it doesn’t mean that you are in trouble. When faced with courageous conversations, we can do one of three things:

Avoid them
Face them and handle them poorly or
Face them and handle them well.

Let’s get the tools to handle them well!

Why is it important to talk about things?

Because it will help us grow as a community to meet our purpose as Atonement Lutheran Church – to celebrate God’s love and grace; trust in the Holy Spirit for guidance; and serve as disciples of Jesus Christ in the world. This is exciting work and we need everyone engaged and willing to speak up with ideas and feedback!

The Primary Purpose

The primary purpose of the Courageous Conversations Task Force is to raise awareness of the need to talk about important things rather than avoid them. We also are tasked with helping to develop tools to assist in this important work. A tool is available on this website.

What have we done so far?

The Task Force began in 2016. It was convened as a result of the Transition Report Process that revealed that people in the Atonement community believed that more and better communication was needed to help us work together to meet our purpose.
We have received training as a task force and also have held a training for leadership including the Pastors, Council, Staff, and ministry team leaders.

What are next steps?

We have developed a toolkit to help people who think they may need to have a courageous conversation. A link is provided on the website. It includes guidance to help you determine:
- If the issue is one that you wish to pursue
- Who are the persons with whom you need to have this discussion
- Your objective in holding the discussion and
- How to have this conversation in a positive and beneficial way.
We have also developed another tool to assess how well the process worked.
We are planning more trainings that will be open to all members of the congregation in the winter.

Download Toolkit

How can I learn more?

Take a look at the information on this website.
Check out the book that we are using from the Atonement’s Library – Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzer
Read the book summary for Crucial Conversations, available here.
Talk to any of the task force members.

Why does the task force want you to read this book?

This is not a negative thing meant to address a problem in our church. We hope that you will see it as an opportunity to acquire some new tools. We think this book will help us all to model what we wish we saw in conversations in the world. It is offered to help us prepare to be the church in the world – not only within our four walls.

Read Summary

How can I get involved?

Speak to any member of the Courageous Conversations Task Force:

Andre Dion, Chair
Jan Ydstie-Roy
Jackie Glover
Branko Kosovic
Rebecca Scarborough
Holger Voemel
William Wharton

*The Task Force has been using a book called Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler. McGraw Hill 2012. A summary is available on this website and copies are available in the Atonement library.